do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i love accidental penises.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
