You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
