Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize