The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
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