Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
