and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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