I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he thought i was a dude.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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