She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
