marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
