I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
