I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She even gives head with a lisp.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Randomize
