I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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