Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
