Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
there was a trapeze. enough said
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
