sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
