Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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