SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I have aggressive nipples.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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