playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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