I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
