Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
