I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
