i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
