Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize