we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
