i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
My balls are so social today.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
