I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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