Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
