That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
