Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
