Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
