Where did you get a picture of my penis
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
