A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
