Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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