My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
