I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
