Only a mothe r could love this liver
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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