I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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