Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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