I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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