I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
