i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
