they need to just BURY HIM!
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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