I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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