it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I need to calm my uterus...
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
