I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
