Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
