You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
