I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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