Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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