ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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