Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
