Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
