she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
you inspire me to be a worse person
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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