how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
