Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
we should paint friendship bongs
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