Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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