Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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