um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
my sisters under your porch take her home
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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