Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I think i got beer on your cat.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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